Bereft

I saw Michael's headstone in person for the first time. Today would have been our 24th wedding anniversary.

I sat in the grass hugging that marble that had his name etched upon it. I cried until I thought my head would not stop hurting and I would never catch my breath. I rubbed it and laid my head on it and told him so many things.

I sat there on the ground for hours, ants climbing over me and dragonflies surrounded me. The Texas sun was warm and occasionally there was a breeze. All around me were the fallen.  I could not bring myself to leave. I would gather my belongings and start to stand...then my head would find itself once again upon the stone or my finger would trace his name and I could not leave.

I am not sure what to do with this pain. So I must lay it in the heart of my Lord.

Lord, I hand you my broken heart.

I hand you my pain.

You are my comfort.

~Cindy