Martha, Martha, Martha...

Every moment comes to us pregnant with a command from God, only to pass on and plunge into eternity, there to remain forever what we have made it.

 -St. Francis de Sales

I have always been much more comfortable being a Martha and not a Mary.  I jump up and do things.  Even though I say I really do not want to be in charge.  That is usually where I end up. Doing!!

It is a great Cross for me to sit and be quiet.  And so with that in mind and for the good of my family needs now, I decided to resign as the Coordinator of Lectors and Commentators at Church.  It was a difficult decision for me and one that I did not make lightly.

I feel that it is right for me to sit at the feet of Our Lord and listen.  It is and was so easy for me to get caught up in the doing that I found I was becoming deaf.

I will enter my own little cloistered heart and contemplate and pray.  I will spend more time listening and less time talking.

Speak Lord,

I am listening...

Help me to open my ears

and heart and hear you anew.

Help me to close the grille and

hear your voice in the silence.

~Cindy

They have no wine...

Mary can teach us kindness..."They have no wine" she told Jesus at Cana.  Let us, like her, be aware of the needs of the poor, be they spiritual or material, and let us, like her, give generously of the love and grace we are granted.  -Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

I have been a bit like that leaf floating down the river.  Not feeling like I have a direction.  Feeling a bit aimless.  Feeling dissatisfied.

I am not sure what I am dissatisfied with, but it is a vague cloud that hangs over me and makes me itchy.

If I look around I have so much to be thankful for in my life.  There are people, even in my own family, that are facing huge financial worries and health issues.  I have a roof over my head, food on my table, clothes on my back, good friends, and most importantly I have my faith!

I am finding my way in this new phase of my life.  I am still enthusiastic about life and all the adventures that await me.  Our Lord has been revealing His mission for me in bits and pieces.  I like the big overview and then distill it down.  God works by handing out hints and teases me with my mission.  Why?  Because it is all about Trust, Abandonment, and Obedience.  The message is always the same.

God:  Trust me I have a plan.
Me: But have you thought about this or this?

God: Trust me I have a plan.  Have I ever let you down?
Me: No You have never let me down, BUT...

You get the picture.  Mary, as Father Charlie reminded me this morning, trusted her Son.  Today's Gospel has the only words attributed to Mary in the Bible.  "Do whatever He tells you."

Wise words indeed.  "Do whatever He tells you."

Lord, I may feel like that leaf floating down a river with no direction.
You have set my direction as I pass over each stone, branch or obstacle in my way.
You move me along in the shallows and the deep.  You let me linger in the stillness.
You move me rapidly when needed.

Lord, keep my heart and ear tuned to You.
Help me to take heed of Mary's words:
"Do whatever He tells you."
~Cindy

I was a Happy Sinner!

There was a time when I was happy in my sinfulness.  I rolled around in it like pigs roll in mud.  Not only was I happy to be a sinner, I encouraged others to get down in that mud and roll around with me.

Yes, in the back of my mind I knew I needed to rise out of the pigpen and flee back to my Lord.  I thought that I had plenty of time.  I WAS WRONG!

Yes, even at the last second you can with sincerity ask for forgiveness and it will be granted to you.  He pays the workers in the vineyard no matter the time, they came to labor.  He rejoices for the prodigal sons and daughters and He rejoices for the lost sheep that is returned to the flock!

That is why I am going to lure her
and lead her out into the desert
and speak to her heart.

I am going to give her back her vineyards,
and make the Valley of Achor a gateway of hope.
There she will respond to me as she did when she was young,
as she did when she came out of the land of Egypt.
Hosea 2: 16-17

I needed to be lured to the desert.  God knew that I needed to be away and have time for silence so that I could hear Him.  He knows how easily I am distracted.  He knows how loud it can be in my head.  He calms me in the silence and there He tells me of his love.

Lord, I would walk in the desert all the days of my life,
If it is there that You want me.
You will be my water and my life.
It is Your voice that sings to me in the morning and the night.
Like a lover you call to me in the silence of my heart.

~Cindy