The Second Sunday in Advent

I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.  -Anne Lamott

Facebook has memories of posts from a year ago, two years ago and even longer.  The memory that came up for me was from three years ago.  It was a link to Caring Bridge.  It was the update about Michael.

My Advent has become a time of waiting in a new way.  In the update it spoke of how chemo was ending and he was coming home to die.  It spoke of how happy we were that the cancer had not metastasized to his brain.  It spoke of hospice. We were waiting!

God in His Mercy allows us to wait.  I believe that in the waiting we can become calm and surrender ourselves and our circumstances to Him.

Grace enters whenever we open our hearts, minds and souls to accept it.  It is always there waiting to enter our lives.

Last night I watched part of Risen, which is about the Centurion that helped crucify Our Lord.  He is tasked with finding the missing body of Jesus.  He ends up with the Apostles.  They have been told to go to the Sea of Galilee were Jesus will meet them. While out on the boat with them fishing, a man appears walking on the beach.  Peter looks at the man quite intently and turns to the Centurion and says, "Sometimes, He is hard to recognize."

Grace helps us to not only recognize Jesus, but to act as He would have us act.  Let us hold our memories dear but also look forward to the future.  Let us keep ourselves every ready to accept God's Grace.

Lord,
you know how painful this waiting is for me.

You alone know the depths of my heart.
Help me to hold dear my memories, yet still
look forward to the future.

Help me to accept Your Grace.

~Cindy

The Year is Complete

Death is no more than falling blindly into the arms of God.
St. Maria Maravillas de Jesus

I almost can not comprehend that it has been a year today that Michael passed into eternity.  Some days it feels like mere minutes ago and some days it feels like eons have passed.

I have learned a lot about myself this past year.  I have encountered such kindness.  I have been disappointed by some and absolutely amazed by others.

This year I was drawn to purchase a Menorah.  As I researched how to correctly use it and celebrate Hanukkah I discovered that Hanukkah this year began on the day of Michael's Memorial Mass Celebration and will end on Christmas Eve.

First Night of Hanukkah

As I light the candles and pray the prayers I am comforted.  I have always found comfort in lights and  a lit candle in a window is a welcoming sign.  Hanukkah reminds us of God's miraculous love for us and His willingness to give us physical signs of His love and care for us.

When I am sad and missing Michael I know that it is more for me than for him.  I am happy that he is not suffering anymore.  More than anything I am grateful that Michael reconciled with the Church and God and was able to find peace.

I miss you Michael and am so very grateful for all my memories of  "our little life".

Lord, watch over me and those who loved Michael today.
Help us to remember the good.
Help us to remain grateful for all Your graces and comfort.

~Cindy

God, Me and a Skein of Yarn

The Lord truly works in mysterious ways.  He, via my favorite sister put a loom and a skein of yarn in my hand after Michael's death.

Here she said, this will give you something to do.  I needed something to do.  Something that did not require much thought.  Something to fill the hours that loomed before me.

It started out simply enough on Sundays.  I would go over for the afternoon and dinner and we would loom knit together.  My sister's sister-in-law joined us and soon my nieces joined in the looming also.  We found that we were really getting something out of this activity.  Joy!

Quickly an idea to make money by selling our wares turned into an Act of Mercy.  We decided as a group that we would donate all our hats.  Some may say that the Act of Mercy is for the recipients of the hats.  They would be wrong.  The Act of Mercy is for all of us loomers.

Our Lord took a simple skein of yarn and turned into an article of hope and mercy.  I can't begin to tell you how many prayers are said as I loom, knit or crochet.  The activity lends itself to prayer.  It is repetitive and that leads to meditation.  I pray for the recipient of the hat or shawl as the yarn moves through my fingers.  The hours go quickly and I once again realize just how loved and blessed I am.

Lord, you have once again shown me your mercy and grace in a simple act.  You have given me Joy!  Thank you Lord.

~Cindy