The Second Sunday in Advent

I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.  -Anne Lamott

Facebook has memories of posts from a year ago, two years ago and even longer.  The memory that came up for me was from three years ago.  It was a link to Caring Bridge.  It was the update about Michael.

My Advent has become a time of waiting in a new way.  In the update it spoke of how chemo was ending and he was coming home to die.  It spoke of how happy we were that the cancer had not metastasized to his brain.  It spoke of hospice. We were waiting!

God in His Mercy allows us to wait.  I believe that in the waiting we can become calm and surrender ourselves and our circumstances to Him.

Grace enters whenever we open our hearts, minds and souls to accept it.  It is always there waiting to enter our lives.

Last night I watched part of Risen, which is about the Centurion that helped crucify Our Lord.  He is tasked with finding the missing body of Jesus.  He ends up with the Apostles.  They have been told to go to the Sea of Galilee were Jesus will meet them. While out on the boat with them fishing, a man appears walking on the beach.  Peter looks at the man quite intently and turns to the Centurion and says, "Sometimes, He is hard to recognize."

Grace helps us to not only recognize Jesus, but to act as He would have us act.  Let us hold our memories dear but also look forward to the future.  Let us keep ourselves every ready to accept God's Grace.

Lord,
you know how painful this waiting is for me.

You alone know the depths of my heart.
Help me to hold dear my memories, yet still
look forward to the future.

Help me to accept Your Grace.

~Cindy

Expectant Waiting

We have been called to heal wounds, to unite what has fallen apart, and to bring home those who have lost their way.
~St. Francis of Assisi

The Fourth Sunday of Advent is upon us.  We are called to expectant waiting.  We, like Mary are waiting for the birth of a child.  Not just any child, but the Word made flesh.

We still have the empty manger, yet we can't  wait to see Him lying there.  Our salvation contained in that little baby!

All the prophesy is about to be fulfilled.  That child will heal wounds, unite what has fallen apart and He will bring home those who have lost their way.  He will call us to be like little children if we hope to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

When I remember Michael's last days with us. He had become a little child.  Everything about him changed as he had total trust in God.  How I wish that I was more child like.  A child that would and could throw herself headlong into the waiting arms of her Savior.  That would abandon any thought of doing her will and only doing His.  To be obedient to what He asks of me.

As I sit between the candles of the Advent Wreath and the candles of the Menorah, I wait expectantly for the coming of my Savior.

Lord, I am waiting.
I will try to be silent.

Help me to be child like.
Help me to abandon my will and
be more obedient.

Let me open my heart to You.

~Cindy

Jesus, I Trust in You

 I have been drawn to reading the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska.  For about 2 years I have been praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and even did the Novena last year in preparation for Mercy Sunday. But it is now that the message is becoming clear to me.  It is TRUST!

I am trying to trust.  I keep coming back to; Trusting in the Lord.  Being the kind of person that likes lists, plans and Being in Charge.  Trust is and has been a big issue for me.  I know...if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans.  I am sure that He is rolling on the floor laughing.

He also knows that this limbo that I am living in is so extremely painful for me.  I can't make a list, a plan and I am definitely NOT in charge.  I am a blubbering mass of sorrow and grief.  I am a quivering ball of emotions.  I am in fear of imploding on myself.  And then ever so gently Jesus hits me right between the eyes with a 2X4.  HE has a list, a plan, and HE is in Charge!  He knows that I am worried.  He knows that I am afraid.  He knows how much pain I am in right now.  All he asks is that I trust Him.

Father Charlie reminded us today that all the readings were about people worried about their futures and what was in store for them.  The message, then as now, is Trust in Me.  St. Faustina heard the message from Jesus.  It was then and is now, Trust in Me.

So here I am Lord in all my tears and fears trying my ultimate best to Trust.  To trust that the plan you have for me is so much better than any thing that I could image or hope for myself.  To trust that You truly are carrying me in Your arms and if I would just relax it would be all better.

So to once again borrow from Father Charlie: "You don't worry about what the future holds, when you know who holds the future."

Lord,
I put my worries in your hands.  I am putting down my lists and plans and being in charge.  Help me to Trust that You have the ultimate plan for me.  Help me to wait in Joy for that revelation.

~Cindy