They have no wine...

Mary can teach us kindness..."They have no wine" she told Jesus at Cana.  Let us, like her, be aware of the needs of the poor, be they spiritual or material, and let us, like her, give generously of the love and grace we are granted.  -Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

I have been a bit like that leaf floating down the river.  Not feeling like I have a direction.  Feeling a bit aimless.  Feeling dissatisfied.

I am not sure what I am dissatisfied with, but it is a vague cloud that hangs over me and makes me itchy.

If I look around I have so much to be thankful for in my life.  There are people, even in my own family, that are facing huge financial worries and health issues.  I have a roof over my head, food on my table, clothes on my back, good friends, and most importantly I have my faith!

I am finding my way in this new phase of my life.  I am still enthusiastic about life and all the adventures that await me.  Our Lord has been revealing His mission for me in bits and pieces.  I like the big overview and then distill it down.  God works by handing out hints and teases me with my mission.  Why?  Because it is all about Trust, Abandonment, and Obedience.  The message is always the same.

God:  Trust me I have a plan.
Me: But have you thought about this or this?

God: Trust me I have a plan.  Have I ever let you down?
Me: No You have never let me down, BUT...

You get the picture.  Mary, as Father Charlie reminded me this morning, trusted her Son.  Today's Gospel has the only words attributed to Mary in the Bible.  "Do whatever He tells you."

Wise words indeed.  "Do whatever He tells you."

Lord, I may feel like that leaf floating down a river with no direction.
You have set my direction as I pass over each stone, branch or obstacle in my way.
You move me along in the shallows and the deep.  You let me linger in the stillness.
You move me rapidly when needed.

Lord, keep my heart and ear tuned to You.
Help me to take heed of Mary's words:
"Do whatever He tells you."
~Cindy

Good Morning

Here am I Lord; I come to do your will.
~Psalm 40 8a & 9a


The sunrise evoked two immediate thoughts this morning. First, thank you God for the incredible beauty you bestow and secondly, Good Morning Michael.

Here I am, one year and one month after Michael's passing.  I can't believe it.  Life is moving on and the sun keeps rising and setting and I am making plans.  In fact, I am going to Mexico.  There is serendipity to this trip.  Mexico was the first destination that Michael and I traveled to as a couple.  I am going to the same town but with different people.  Though I know that Michael will be with me as he is in every journey that I embark on.

Samuel was called in the middle of the night by the Lord to begin his journey.  The Gospel today reminds us that Jesus walked and John saw Him and announced, "Behold, the Lamb of God."  And two disciples began their journey.  Andrew tells his brother Simon, "We have found the Messiah."  Thus Peter begins his journey.

We are all called.  Some are knocked off their horses because that is the only thing they understand.  Others hear God in the silence of the night or a whisper in their heart. Some in the echo of longing.

The call by God echo down the centuries.  We repeat the words spoken by the Angel Gabriel to Mary with each Hail Mary.  Ancient words spoken by many mouths daily and hourly.  Mary's yes was and is an example to all to answer God's call to each of us.

Lord,
Here am I Lord; wanting to do your will.
wanting to echo Mary's yes.

~Cindy

The First Sunday of Advent

Jesus is honey in the mouth, music in the ear and a shout of joy in the heart.
-St. Bernard of Clairvaux

Preparation.  We are or should be in preparation mode.  Advent is here!

I could not help but think of Mary and how she was preparing for the birth of Our Lord.   What great Faith she had.  Unmarried, espoused to a man that could have turned his back on her, living in an occupied country, and yet she believed that God was going to take care of everything.

My faith waivers occasionally in the face of the unknown or when I am not sure of what God wants from me.  I hear Him knocking and sometimes I hesitate to answer His call.  I am fearful of what He will ask of me.  Some days I can not even be a witness in small ways.

I complain about other drivers, parishioners that are not behaving the way I think they should, the clerk at Wal-Mart, and my friends on Facebook.

So here I am in preparation mode again.  I am trying to remember the reason for the Season.  It has always been my favorite Season.  There is a hopefulness in the Season of Christmas.  There is a sense that all can be right with the world.  But this will be my second Christmas without Michael.  The first Christmas without him came so fast of the heels of his death that I was numb.  Now I am struggling with decorating.  Should I or shouldn't I?  Michael would want me to decorate and enjoy all that the Season has to offer.

I remember when he asked me if I thought he could make it to Midnight Mass and I had to tell him that I did not think he would be here for Christmas.  Yet all around me Christmas lights twinkled in the night dispelling the darkness, carols wafted in the air, and Mass was celebrated.

It is not enough for me to just sit in my pew.  No I am called to more.  I am called to be a witness.  I am called to open the door and invite Jesus into my heart.  I am called to be a light that dispels the darkness.

Lord,
I ask you to come into my heart
this Christmas Season.
Open it wide so that I may be a light in the darkness.
Open it wide so that I may be kind to those that are unkind.
Open it wide so that I may be a gentle reminder of Your Love.
Help me to have the Faith of Mary.

~Cindy

A Week Full of Mercy

I am always a little sad to see the month of May end.  I have fond memories of being a young girl in Parochial school.  I was so thrilled when I was chosen to place the crown on Mary's statue in the front of the classroom.  Now I crown my own statue in my own home.  But May is gone and June is here.

June is the month of devotion to the Sacred Heart.  I am blessed to have the Sacred Heart statue that belonged to my grandparents.  It stands by the front door and greets everyone who enters.

Even though we have moved devotional months it does not mean that it is time to put away our Rosaries.  My devotion to the Rosary only grows with each passing day.  It is my comfort, my weapon, my words when I have none.  It is the rope of salvation between Heaven and myself.

Saint Padre Pio when asked if there was a shortcut to Heaven, replied that it was through the Virgin Mary and the Rosary.  I like shortcuts!

















The week full of Mercy or some would say blessings. It seemed that the Holy Spirit was manifest on my lips and on the lips of many around me.  We were given the chance to witness to Eternal Life and the promise of redemption to a new widow. We continue to see the bond of Community grow in our Bible Study Group.

But for me the biggest Mercy/Blessing were the messages that I kept receiving all during the week.  One night when not only did night fall but my spirit was falling as well,  a spark of light in the darkness lifted me. It came not from the Bible but from a television program, Call the Midwife.  In the episode I was half paying attention to suddenly I was drawn to pay attention:  Sister Monica Jones was saying to one of the nurses who's mother had just passed, "Come to Chapel.  I often find succor there.  In Chapel the words are all aligned as in a rope for us to cling to."  That is how I feel about the Liturgy of the Hours and the Rosary.  When my words are muddled and unintelligible or I am so confused, it is there that the words are all aligned!

And today at Mass Father Joseph Thieu Huu Nguyen of the Diocese of Hai Phong in Viet Nam came to speak on behalf of their community.  He reminded us that during the reign of communism in North Viet Nam the people only had two Masses a YEAR!  I am so blessed to be able to go daily.

But again it was these words that he shared, "  If you go alone, you go fast; If you go together you go far." that made me think.

So Lord, here I am,
Not extremely patient and always wanting to go alone.  Yet, you have called me to go with others.  Together we will go far!

~Cindy