This seat RESERVED

If we are going to a fine dining restaurant we usually need a reservation.  We buy tickets in advance for concerts, ballgames, and other events.

At church usually we do not have a reserved seat, but if your church is like my church many of us, myself included have a seat that we consider ours.  We can get very upset if we find someone in "our seat".  Father reminds us that it is only a seat and we can sit anywhere.  Easy for him to say, he has a reserved seat.

If I think about it I do have a reserved seat.  When Jesus gave up his life for me He reserved my seat. He reserved seats not for the holy perfect ones, no He reserved seats for sinners!

These reserved seats are for the:
Liars, adulterers, misfits, prostitutes, tax collectors, the criminals, the hedgers, the ones that are lost.  These reserved seats are for the ones that feel unworthy, unloved, undervalued and the ones that are afraid.

These seats are for us.  So come and take your seat next to mine and let us find Peace.

Men go abroad to wonder at the height of mountains, at huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.

St. Augustine

Lord, help me not to pass by and not wonder at the beauty of all your creation.
Help me to be a reflection on Your love and peace.
Help me to slide over so that another may sit down next to me.
Let us lift each other up.

~Cindy

HOPE

I have always believed that without Hope we are a pretty sorry lot.  This past 10 months has had me filled with hope that everyone was right, "It will get better."

It does get better.  The pain and loss do not go away, but with HOPE you begin to see a new future.  It is similar to watching the dawn break.   The sun takes it's time teasing us about what is to come.  Some mornings are muted and some stop you in your tracks.

Because of HOPE, I am beginning to see a new future.  One that is full of promise and adventure. One that will make my heart sing once again.

Because of HOPE, I purchased a new-to-me Motor Home.  My plan is to go to the places that Michael and I had on our list.  Plus I know that I will add a few destinations that are mine and mine alone.

Fr. Charlie Blessing the RV

It was difficult to sit across that desk from the salesperson without Michael there.  He was the negotiator as I do NOT have a good poker face, especially when I want something.

But Michael is here.  I can hear him, I can see him shaking his head, and I can feel his love.  So I will do as he asked and live my life.

My HOPE will continue to push me forward, even on the days when I have doubts and feel unsure.

I see God most in the wonders of nature.  Where He shines and there is little to distract me.  I am ready Lord to Trust that You do have a plan just for me.  Something that You have created just for me.



Hope, O my soul, hope.  You know neither the day not the hour.  Watch carefully, for everything passes quickly, even though your impatience makes doubtful what is certain, and turns a very short time into a long one.
St. Teresa of Avila

Lord, you know how impatient I can be,
Help me Lord to not get in a snit when I am lost or confused.
Help me Lord to see you in all things and in everyone I meet.
Help me Lord to be a clear reflection of You.
Help me Lord to never lose Hope...
~Cindy

The Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary

In reading the Memorial in the Magnificat today they quote Saint John Paul II...

"It could be said that each mystery of the rosary, carefully meditated, sheds light on the mystery of man. 'Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you.' (Ps 55:23).  To pray the rosary is to hand over our burdens to the merciful hearts of Christ and his Mother.  The rosary does indeed 'mark the rhythm of human life,' bringing it into harmony with the 'rhythm' of God's own life, in the joyful communion of the Holy Trinity, our life's destiny and deepest longing.  Through the rosary the faithful receive abundant grace, as though from the very hands of the Mother of the Redeemer."

"As though from the very hands of the Mother of the Redeemer."  The rosary for me has always been and continues to be a lifeline for me.  It connects me with everyone who has a devotion to Our Mother, the Angels and Saints and to Our Lord.  I can not imagine a day without praying the rosary.

On this Feast Day let me be reminded that Our Lord as He was dying gave His Mother not only to His Beloved Apostle, He gave her to each of us!

Dear Mother,
Look down on your daughter.
Help me to be the person that Our Lord wishes me to be.
Give me the courage to be a true follower.
Give me a grateful heart.

~Cindy

There is a Time for Every Season...

I can not say that my thirst has been quenched, but I have had drops of water that nourished me.


It was not my week to be lecture at daily Mass, but I was asked to stand in on Friday.  The reading was from the Book of Ecclesiastes 3:1-83.  The song by Pete Seeger that was made popular by the Byrds was based on this passage and has always been one of my favorites.  It was the reading that was read at Michael's Memorial Mass.

It reminded me that there is a Time for Every Purpose Under Heaven.   A time to mourn, and a time to dance.  A time to weep, and a time to laugh.

I was comforted as I read the words and reminded that I am in the right time for me.

I was comforted today as we sang that God knows when I sit and when I stand.  He knew me before I saw the sunshine when I was in my mother's womb.  And I was overwhelmed distributing the Body and Blood of Our Lord.  I felt JOY!  What an honor to be able to be His servant.

It is with total awe that I contemplate my unworthiness and the greatness of God that He would allow me these small drops of comfort to help me carry on.

Lord,
I stand still moist from the drops of Grace You have bestowed on me.
Help me to be a comfort to others that are in greater need of comfort.

Let me the smile that brightens their day,
or the kind word amidst the harshness of unkind words.

Help me to know that You know-
all my needs before I do.

~Cindy

Forgiveness

I have been thinking about forgiveness a lot lately.  Perhaps, because I was in need of forgiveness.  I knew I needed to go to Confession...but I was embarrassed about what I needed to confess.  I was trying to pray before Mass and I kept being interrupted by the prompting to...GO TO CONFESSION!

So I closed my prayer book and walked back and knocked on Father's door.  I confessed.  As I looked at his face I saw no condemnation or judgement, just Love and FORGIVENESS.  I saw Our Lord with all His Mercy being given to me.

Back in my pew I came to the realization that how could I be embarrassed to confess what God had already seen?  He had full knowledge of my sin.  He was only waiting for me to come and say that I was sorry.  Once I acknowledged my sin and asked for His forgiveness it was mine.

Often I think that we believe that God thinks like us and that His heart is like ours.  How wrong we are.  We can not even begin to comprehend the magnitude of His thoughts and His Heart, it is larger than anything that we can imagine.  That huge heart is full of Mercy...ours for the asking.

Lord,
Thank You for Your Mercy and Forgiveness.
Thank You for prompting me to remember 
that it is mine for the asking.

~Cindy

I was Reminded...

I must admit that the trip to Texas really took the stuffing out of me.  I am having trouble getting my legs under me.  I feel empty and parched.

Parched like someone lost in the desert with no oasis in sight!

My only consolation is the Eucharist.  I find myself tearing up and part of me wants to let go and just cry myself out.  But I am afraid.  Afraid that if I start I won't be able to stop.

My prayers are rote and empty.  They are just words that I mouth and bring me no comfort.  All I have is my emptiness to offer.

I was reminded today at Mass that many Saints had fellow Saints that helped them.  They encouraged each other.  They prayed for each other.

  Today we remember Saint Cornelius and Saint Cyprian.  Both priests and Bishops.  Both martyrs.
They knew they were going to be martyred and they held each other up.

I am NO saint.  However, I too have people who lift me up.  My Prayer Partner, my Family, my Parrish, my Priest and my Deacon.  I do not know what I would do without them and their prayers.

Lord, I am so empty...
I fear that I will never know
Your Mercy again.
I stand before you with nothing
to give to you.
I yearn for your comfort.
I yearn for some small measure of mercy.

  
                                                                                  ~Cindy
Please remember me in your prayers.

Home

I have just returned home after being gone for almost three weeks.  It is good to be home among my own things, with my schedule, and my bed.   As I drove for my visit to Texas I had ample time to think, to reminisce and to pray.  I began my trip to Texas with a blessing from Father Charlie and I began my trip home with a blessing from Father Michael. ( Sorry Father Charlie, but his was in a lilting Irish Brogue.  That always melts my heart.)

The road was well known to me as Michael and I had traveled it many times with familiar stops along the way and some that we had talked about stopping by in the future.  I found myself placing my hand on the seat next to me where Michael's knee used to be.  Still I talked to him and pointed out familiar attractions.  I complained to him about road construction.  I cried for myself.

My Spiritual Journey is a trip.  One that is familiar in many ways with known attractions and future stops.  The Church has given me a blessing to start my journey, it was my Baptism.   The Church will also give me a blessing when I am ready to return home.  It will be in the Sacrament of the Sick.  Along the way the Church provides a road map for me in other Sacraments.  She provides Devotions, Prayers and Sacramentals as guide posts and rest areas along the way.

Like many a traveler sometimes I have taken a wrong turn and become lost and forgotten where my home truly is; for we are called to be not to be of this world.  But like a good map or GPS the Church helps me to find my way even after an unplanned detour.

So I was pleased today to be home in My Parish, with My Community walking the road with My Brothers and Sisters.

Lord, You have called us to be
not of this world.
You have asked us to leave our families and our homes
to follow You.
Thank you Lord, for the guide posts and rest areas
that You provide along the way.
Until I come HOME, 
I ask You to watch over me and keep me safe.

~Cindy