Passion and Purgatory

In the middle of my physical sufferings, the inner music of my soul will not stop praising God with acts of virtue offering Him my love.
- St Genoveva Torres Morales

Everywhere I look people are getting ready for the Holidays.  The mood is turning festive. I must admit that for me this time of year has become my Passion.  Please do not think that I can even begin to compare my passion with the Passion of Our Lord.  I can not and do not. Yet, I feel very much as if I am suffering my own passion.

This week is Michael and my birthday week.  All the time that we were married we celebrated the day between our two birthdays.  In celebration of Michael's last birthday our dear friends Debi and Roy drove from Texas to celebrate with us.  We all knew this would be our last celebration.  We had so much to talk about and so much to celebrate.

This week we will also celebrate All Soul's Day.  It reminds me that we must pray continually for the Holy Souls in Purgatory.  Michael, who promised me and I him that we would pray each other out of Purgatory would actually be celebrating his birthday.  Our Lord certainly writes straight with crooked lines!

This is the beginning of many "lasts".  Each one is written on my heart.

Lord, let the inner music of my soul
be made sweeter by my tears.

May my prayers and remembrances open
my heart to your grace.

May my lamentations become hymns of JOY!

~Cindy

Beloved...

Beloved: I am already being poured out like a libation, and the time of my departure is at hand.  I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.
The second Letter of Saint Paul to Timothy

This is the picture that showed up on my Facebook page as my memory yesterday.  The quote above is from the second reading at Mass yesterday.

When I first saw this photo yesterday morning it was a little bit of a shock.  I remember that day as if it were yesterday.  Michael was in the ER receiving blood transfusions.  He was upbeat and full of himself.  My favorite sister was there to keep us company and to watch over Michael.

During this time Michael was being poured out like a libation.  His departure was at hand.  He had competed well and was so close to the finish of his race.  Most importantly he had kept the faith!

Never once did he complain or falter.  He was at peace.  I miss him terribly each and everyday.

I ask as we are approaching the Anniversary of his race completion that you continue to pray for the repose of his soul.  Pray that if he is still being purified like fine gold in the fires of purgatory that he be released soon so that he may praise God in Heaven.

We have loved him dearly during life,
Let us not abandon him
until we have conducted him by
our prayers into the house of the Lord.
St. Ambrose

Martha, Martha, Martha...

Every moment comes to us pregnant with a command from God, only to pass on and plunge into eternity, there to remain forever what we have made it.

 -St. Francis de Sales

I have always been much more comfortable being a Martha and not a Mary.  I jump up and do things.  Even though I say I really do not want to be in charge.  That is usually where I end up. Doing!!

It is a great Cross for me to sit and be quiet.  And so with that in mind and for the good of my family needs now, I decided to resign as the Coordinator of Lectors and Commentators at Church.  It was a difficult decision for me and one that I did not make lightly.

I feel that it is right for me to sit at the feet of Our Lord and listen.  It is and was so easy for me to get caught up in the doing that I found I was becoming deaf.

I will enter my own little cloistered heart and contemplate and pray.  I will spend more time listening and less time talking.

Speak Lord,

I am listening...

Help me to open my ears

and heart and hear you anew.

Help me to close the grille and

hear your voice in the silence.

~Cindy