Consider...

Consider it all joy, my brethren,
when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith
produces endurance.

James 1:2-3 

Mary's Beads of Transformation

I was re-reading Mary's Beads of Transformation by Patricia M. McCormack, Ed.D this morning.  I was reminded that the Rosary is transformative  I have so much proof of it in my life.

Our Blessed Mother did not change Michael, she transformed him. She brought Michael back to her Son, Jesus Christ.  She and her Rosary were his comfort and consolation.  The Rosary brought me home to the Church and helped my Prayer Partner find her way to the Church.

Our Blessed Mother was not content with these, no she is transforming my sister and my niece and her husband.  She uses the Rosary as a life-line. When all seems lost she places the Rosary in our hands and and gently pulls us into the arms of her Son.

I would be remiss if I didn't also thank St. Therese of Lisieux.  She has been and continues to be a powerful intercessor.

For me the Rosary is not only the way home it is the way to transformation.

Pray!

Lord, you know it has been a hard week.  I have been on the verge of tears most of the week and yet you have sent me so many blessings.

My niece is exploring becoming a Catholic.  She, her husband and my sister are coming to Mass!  A miracle.  More prayers answered.

 And yet...

I feel like I have been invited to a party that I want to attend, but my sorrow is so great that I can't fully enjoy it.  At Mass I find that I try to be small and inconspicuous.  I don't want to talk to anyone.  I just want to be there with you.

I feel like a time traveler that is lost in a black hole.  I know that you are there.  I see you in the beauty of the world, the kindness of friends and strangers.  I know you are there, but I fear that I won't be happy again.  I know you won't abandon me.  You will lift me up.  You will be my comfort and refuge.  You are my hope and my strength.

I found comfort in the concluding prayer in today's Office Reading.

Lord,

free us from the dark night of death.

Let the light of resurrection

 dawn within our hearts

 to bring us to the radiance of eternal life.

  We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ,

 your Son,who lives and reigns with you an

 the Holy Spirit, on

 God, for ever and ever.– Amen.

 ~Cindy

 

St. Therese & St. Jude

Sometimes I am as thick as a post.  This is not new information for those that know me.  The Lord had to hit me twice with the 2X4 this time!


While Michael was ill I prayed to St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Jude that he would find his way back to the Church.  As you know my prayers and the prayers of many were answered.

So yesterday while at my sisters home my grand niece was sitting at the table.  She had a bag of artificial roses.  She asked me if I wanted one.  I said yes and didn't think about it until this morning at Mass.  As I finished my prayer to St. Therese I looked into my purse and there it was, a perfect rose laying by my Rosary!  I am going to take it as a sign from St. Therese, who promised to send a shower of roses from Heaven!

I got the message....

~Cindy

Dreams

Dreaming has always been a healing for me.  I figure out answers to problems and concerns while I sleep.  Since Michael's death I haven't been dreaming.  Or if I am I do not remember them.  Instead I feel like I am in total darkness, nothingness.  I awake exhausted and long for the nights filled with dreams.

Many times in the Bible God used dreams to help people know what to do.  He warned Joseph that it was okay to  take Mary as his spouse.  He warned Joseph to take Mary and the child into Egypt for safety.  He warned the Magi not to go back and tell Herod were they had found the child.

I finally dreamed three weeks almost to the day of the anniversary of Michael's death.  There he was talking to me.  He had a lot to say, but I can't remember any of the words.  I just know that he was there healthy and hearty talking to me.  When I awoke I was comforted.

This morning I feel lost and alone.  I am like a blank chalk board waiting to be written on.

He found them in a wilderness,
a wasteland of howling desert.
He shielded them and cared for them,
guarding them as the apple of his eye.

Deuteronomy 32:10

~Cindy 

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton and me

How fitting that today is the Feast Day of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton.  A widow that converted to Catholicism and started the American Catholic school system.

 I have had many roles in my life; daughter, sister, aunt, friend, wife, mother, grandmother, and now widow.

It seems very strange to be a widow.  The word sounds old and foreign on my tongue.  I am not sure what to do with this new role.

I feel like I am floating in a sensory deprivation device waiting.  Waiting for you, Lord.  Waiting to see which path opens itself to me.  I am content to wait.  Content to ponder the changes in my life.  Content to put on this role and see how it fits.  But mostly content to wait on You, Lord.

From the Divine Office this morning we pray:



RESPONSORY
The Lord will help her; his loving presence will be with her. 
– The Lord will help her; his loving presence will be with her.
He dwells in her; she will not falter.–
  His loving presence will be with her.
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. 
– The Lord will help her; his loving presence will be with her.

~Cindy