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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

God, Me and a Skein of Yarn

The Lord truly works in mysterious ways.  He, via my favorite sister put a loom and a skein of yarn in my hand after Michael's death.

Here she said, this will give you something to do.  I needed something to do.  Something that did not require much thought.  Something to fill the hours that loomed before me.

It started out simply enough on Sundays.  I would go over for the afternoon and dinner and we would loom knit together.  My sister's sister-in-law joined us and soon my nieces joined in the looming also.  We found that we were really getting something out of this activity.  Joy!

Quickly an idea to make money by selling our wares turned into an Act of Mercy.  We decided as a group that we would donate all our hats.  Some may say that the Act of Mercy is for the recipients of the hats.  They would be wrong.  The Act of Mercy is for all of us loomers.

Our Lord took a simple skein of yarn and turned into an article of hope and mercy.  I can't begin to tell you how many prayers are said as I loom, knit or crochet.  The activity lends itself to prayer.  It is repetitive and that leads to meditation.  I pray for the recipient of the hat or shawl as the yarn moves through my fingers.  The hours go quickly and I once again realize just how loved and blessed I am.

Lord, you have once again shown me your mercy and grace in a simple act.  You have given me Joy!  Thank you Lord.


Sunday, March 23, 2014

The Woman at the Well

I love this story about the Woman at the Well.  It allows us to listen in to Jesus talking to someone.  Someone who is shocked that Jesus, a Jew, would talk to her a Samaritan.  Yet, he does talk to her.  He talks to her about Living Water.  How important water is in the desert.  He is offering her water that will meet the needs of her soul.

More importantly I love this story because I could be that woman.  A woman married multiple times and was living in sin with yet another man who took on the role of husband when, in fact, she and I have no husband.  I have no doubt that this woman made it to heaven.  I have often wondered what her "husbands" thought when they joined her there.  It is my hope that I will make it to heaven, after a healthy healing time in Purgatory.  Three of my four husbands are there or at least I hope they are in Purgatory and will meet me there.  I know in my heart that they are not concerned with this earthly life anymore, nor will I be concerned about it.  But for a moment consider how they might be talking about all of us.  So sure of ourselves and yet, stumbling around.  Sinners all!

We are just the people that Jesus came for, to lift us up, to give us Living Water.  I am standing at the well.

Help me to realize that You are the Living Water. You are the one who saves me.  Let me lower my jar and fill it to the brim so that You may slack Your thirst.


Saturday, March 22, 2014

Trust, Abandonment, & Obedience

Trust, Abandonment, & Obedience...that is quite the mouthful!  Yet for a week it has been my meditation.  The Holy Spirit gave me these three directives while talking to my prayer partner.  We both struggle with trust.  We doubt ourselves and find that soon we can only see obstacles to what God wants for us and for what God wants us to do.

It has come to me that if I can trust God then I am able to abandon my will, desires, etc for His Will and His Desires.  It then follows that I will be Obedient.  Obedient to Him, who only asks that I TRUST IN HIM.

It sounds so simple and it is.  Little children trust their parents completely.  Children will love and trust an abusive parent.  So how is it that I who have a loving, caring Father in God have a hard time trusting.  Simply because I am a sinner and human.  Oh and I need a 2x4 to get the message.

God put me in the desert, not just figuratively but in reality.  It can be a dry lonesome place with prickly thorny plants and little water.  Yet, it is also filled with the solitude that I need to hear God.  It is full of plants that though prickly and thorny have blooms that take my breath away.  An there is enough water to sustain life.

God in His great mercy provides for me.  The other meditation He gave me is from Venerable Charles de Foucauld.
"One must cross the desert and live there to receive God's grace.  It is there that one can drive away from oneself everything that is not God."

Lord, help me to live in the desert with more peace so that I may drive away everything that is not God.


Sunday, March 16, 2014

Jesus, I Trust in You

 I have been drawn to reading the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska.  For about 2 years I have been praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and even did the Novena last year in preparation for Mercy Sunday. But it is now that the message is becoming clear to me.  It is TRUST!

I am trying to trust.  I keep coming back to; Trusting in the Lord.  Being the kind of person that likes lists, plans and Being in Charge.  Trust is and has been a big issue for me.  I know...if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans.  I am sure that He is rolling on the floor laughing.

He also knows that this limbo that I am living in is so extremely painful for me.  I can't make a list, a plan and I am definitely NOT in charge.  I am a blubbering mass of sorrow and grief.  I am a quivering ball of emotions.  I am in fear of imploding on myself.  And then ever so gently Jesus hits me right between the eyes with a 2X4.  HE has a list, a plan, and HE is in Charge!  He knows that I am worried.  He knows that I am afraid.  He knows how much pain I am in right now.  All he asks is that I trust Him.

Father Charlie reminded us today that all the readings were about people worried about their futures and what was in store for them.  The message, then as now, is Trust in Me.  St. Faustina heard the message from Jesus.  It was then and is now, Trust in Me.

So here I am Lord in all my tears and fears trying my ultimate best to Trust.  To trust that the plan you have for me is so much better than any thing that I could image or hope for myself.  To trust that You truly are carrying me in Your arms and if I would just relax it would be all better.

So to once again borrow from Father Charlie: "You don't worry about what the future holds, when you know who holds the future."

I put my worries in your hands.  I am putting down my lists and plans and being in charge.  Help me to Trust that You have the ultimate plan for me.  Help me to wait in Joy for that revelation.


Sunday, March 9, 2014


Father Charlie talked about temptation today and reminded us that the Devil starts small and if he can break us there then he moves on to bigger and better temptations.

Oh, the devil has me in the small ways and I am sure that he has in medium ways also.  As of yet I have not killed anyone so I am happy for that.  I have been tempted though.  I have said it in a joking manner, but in my heart there were times that I could have killed someone.

I am tempted by sloth.  It is so easy to just put things off and eventually you stop thinking about the things you need to do.

I am tempted by distraction.  Especially when praying the Rosary or the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.  Actually when praying.  I think it upsets the devil and he distracts me with the lists of things that I have roaming around in my head.

I am tempted by judging.  Oh that plank in my eye!

I am tempted by being angry.  It such an easy emotion.  If I don't want to deal with an emotion, anger usually fits the bill.

I am tempted by stubbornness. I cover by thinking that I am Staunch.  No I am stubborn.  Like Mammy said in Gone with the Wind. No matter how much Miss Scarlett and Mr. Rhett dressed up like thoroughbreds, they were still stubborn like mules.

Yes, Lord I am tempted.  Tempted daily to listen to the devil and not to you.  Help me.  Lead me not...

Help me to remember....

Counting other people's sins does NOT make me a saint!


Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Come Home to Me

Ash Wednesday is here.  This year my sister and niece were with me.  My niece is on a Spiritual Journey of her own.  She is exploring our Catholic faith.  Pray for her!

As we walked up to receive our ashes she was ahead of me.  I felt commanded by the Holy Spirit to put my hands on her shoulders as she heard the command, "Hear the Gospel and Repent".

We are all called to Hear the Gospel and Repent.  I am learning that with repentance is God's Mercy!  Mercy pouring forth from His wounds.  Mercy lifting me up.  Mercy carrying me. Mercy for the asking!

Today as we stand together and are reminded that we are dust and to dust we shall return we are also remind that He is calling us home.  He is calling all of us.  Especially those of us who have wandered, those who have sinned and those in most need of His Mercy.

Yes, as the words of the song say:

Softly and tenderly Jesus is Calling, calling for you and for me; see, on the portals He's waiting and watching, watching for you and for me.

Come Home, come home, you who are weary, come home; earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling, calling for you to come home.

Why should we tarry when Jesus is pleading, pleading for you and for me? Why should we linger and need not His mercies, mercies for you and for me?

Come Home, come home, you who are weary, come home; earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling, calling for you to come home.

O for the wonderful love He has promised, promised for you and for me! Though we have sinned, He has mercy and pardon, pardon for you and for me.

Come Home, come home, you who are weary, come home; earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling, calling for you to come home.

Thank you for Calling me Home.

~ Cindy

Sunday, March 2, 2014


It seems that we are in a constant state of preparation.  We prepare meals, what to wear today, what to accomplish.  We prepare for Advent and we prepare for Lent.  We prepare for death.  We prepare for eternal life.

I have always believed that preparation done correctly will result in the desired outcome.  In daily life we have many tools that helps us in preparation.  Measured twice cut once, though if truthful I usually measure once and cut twice.  I am in a hurry to get to the end.  I am in a hurry to complete the task.

When I hurry I don't learn the lessons that are in the preparation.  I arrive at the end and often it is anticlimactic. I stand with everything checked off my list, but I failed to savor the journey and learn the lessons.  I did not prepare adequately.

Preparation when you leave the dock in calm weather.  You hope that the weather will hold, but you still check all your safety equipment just in case.  As we know the weather hardly ever holds, but if prepared you have a great sea story at the end of the journey.

So I find myself in the preparation period prior to Lent.  Before I know it Fat Tuesday will be a memory and Ash Wednesday will be upon me.

I am not sure what I am going to do for Lent this year and have been a little worried.  But then the Gospel tells me not to worry for the Lord will take care of me as He takes care of the lilies of the field and the smallest sparrow.

Lord, Help me to remember that you have me firmly in Your hands.
Help me to prepare for Lent without hurry and worry.
Help me to enjoy and embrace this time for it is only 40 days.
Help me to not only check off my list, but to be mindful of the lessons.
Thank you Lord for allowing me to walk this journey with you.