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Sunday, September 28, 2014

There is a Time for Every Season...

I can not say that my thirst has been quenched, but I have had drops of water that nourished me.


It was not my week to be lecture at daily Mass, but I was asked to stand in on Friday.  The reading was from the Book of Ecclesiastes 3:1-83.  The song by Pete Seeger that was made popular by the Byrds was based on this passage and has always been one of my favorites.  It was the reading that was read at Michael's Memorial Mass.

It reminded me that there is a Time for Every Purpose Under Heaven.   A time to mourn, and a time to dance.  A time to weep, and a time to laugh.

I was comforted as I read the words and reminded that I am in the right time for me.

I was comforted today as we sang that God knows when I sit and when I stand.  He knew me before I saw the sunshine when I was in my mother's womb.  And I was overwhelmed distributing the Body and Blood of Our Lord.  I felt JOY!  What an honor to be able to be His servant.

It is with total awe that I contemplate my unworthiness and the greatness of God that He would allow me these small drops of comfort to help me carry on.

Lord,
I stand still moist from the drops of Grace You have bestowed on me.
Help me to be a comfort to others that are in greater need of comfort.

Let me the smile that brightens their day,
or the kind word amidst the harshness of unkind words.

Help me to know that You know-
all my needs before I do.

~Cindy

Monday, September 22, 2014

Forgiveness

I have been thinking about forgiveness a lot lately.  Perhaps, because I was in need of forgiveness.  I knew I needed to go to Confession...but I was embarrassed about what I needed to confess.  I was trying to pray before Mass and I kept being interrupted by the prompting to...GO TO CONFESSION!

So I closed my prayer book and walked back and knocked on Father's door.  I confessed.  As I looked at his face I saw no condemnation or judgement, just Love and FORGIVENESS.  I saw Our Lord with all His Mercy being given to me.

Back in my pew I came to the realization that how could I be embarrassed to confess what God had already seen?  He had full knowledge of my sin.  He was only waiting for me to come and say that I was sorry.  Once I acknowledged my sin and asked for His forgiveness it was mine.

Often I think that we believe that God thinks like us and that His heart is like ours.  How wrong we are.  We can not even begin to comprehend the magnitude of His thoughts and His Heart, it is larger than anything that we can imagine.  That huge heart is full of Mercy...ours for the asking.

Lord,
Thank You for Your Mercy and Forgiveness.
Thank You for prompting me to remember 
that it is mine for the asking.

~Cindy

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I was Reminded...

I must admit that the trip to Texas really took the stuffing out of me.  I am having trouble getting my legs under me.  I feel empty and parched.

Parched like someone lost in the desert with no oasis in sight!

My only consolation is the Eucharist.  I find myself tearing up and part of me wants to let go and just cry myself out.  But I am afraid.  Afraid that if I start I won't be able to stop.

My prayers are rote and empty.  They are just words that I mouth and bring me no comfort.  All I have is my emptiness to offer.

I was reminded today at Mass that many Saints had fellow Saints that helped them.  They encouraged each other.  They prayed for each other.

  Today we remember Saint Cornelius and Saint Cyprian.  Both priests and Bishops.  Both martyrs.
They knew they were going to be martyred and they held each other up.

I am NO saint.  However, I too have people who lift me up.  My Prayer Partner, my Family, my Parrish, my Priest and my Deacon.  I do not know what I would do without them and their prayers.


Lord, I am so empty...
I fear that I will never know
Your Mercy again.
I stand before you with nothing
to give to you.
I yearn for your comfort.
I yearn for some small measure of mercy.

  
                                                                                  ~Cindy
Please remember me in your prayers.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Home

I have just returned home after being gone for almost three weeks.  It is good to be home among my own things, with my schedule, and my bed.   As I drove for my visit to Texas I had ample time to think, to reminisce and to pray.  I began my trip to Texas with a blessing from Father Charlie and I began my trip home with a blessing from Father Michael. ( Sorry Father Charlie, but his was in a lilting Irish Brogue.  That always melts my heart.)

The road was well known to me as Michael and I had traveled it many times with familiar stops along the way and some that we had talked about stopping by in the future.  I found myself placing my hand on the seat next to me where Michael's knee used to be.  Still I talked to him and pointed out familiar attractions.  I complained to him about road construction.  I cried for myself.

My Spiritual Journey is a trip.  One that is familiar in many ways with known attractions and future stops.  The Church has given me a blessing to start my journey, it was my Baptism.   The Church will also give me a blessing when I am ready to return home.  It will be in the Sacrament of the Sick.  Along the way the Church provides a road map for me in other Sacraments.  She provides Devotions, Prayers and Sacramentals as guide posts and rest areas along the way.

Like many a traveler sometimes I have taken a wrong turn and become lost and forgotten where my home truly is; for we are called to be not to be of this world.  But like a good map or GPS the Church helps me to find my way even after an unplanned detour.

So I was pleased today to be home in My Parish, with My Community walking the road with My Brothers and Sisters.

Lord, You have called us to be
not of this world.
You have asked us to leave our families and our homes
to follow You.
Thank you Lord, for the guide posts and rest areas
that You provide along the way.
Until I come HOME, 
I ask You to watch over me and keep me safe.

~Cindy

Thursday, September 4, 2014

A Seat at the Table

When I was growing up there was always a place at the table for extra people.  I was so confident of this that I would on occasion invite people over for dinner and not tell my Mom.  She was gracious and made sure that some how she had enough to share.

Our dinner table was where we all sat down together.  We were not allowed to answer the phone or watch television.  It was a time to share our day.  We talked to each other.  We asked to be excused from the table when we were finished eating.  It was an important part of our day growing up.

I have often wondered what it would have been like to sit at the table with Our Lord.  This past week my prayer partner helped me to experience sitting at table with Our Lord in a very different way.

Yes, I know that when I am at Mass that I am invited to the Table of Our Lord in Holy Communion.  I take advantage of that great invitation as often as possible.  It is the Eucharist that sustains me.

But last week when I was so grieving Michael's death we went to the Grotto to pray our Rosary.  She had told me that there was a new "Jesus Table", but my mind could not even imagine what it would be like.

As we walked under the live oaks on the path to the grotto she instructed me to turn right and there He was.  Jesus was sitting at an empty table with open spots for all and any who wanted to join him.  I welled up with tears and a sense of peace came over me.  I wanted to sit right next to Him.  I wanted to touch Him.



There Jesus was breaking the bread with the cup in front of Him.  He assured me that there was a seat at the table for me.  I will admit that as I approached I thought about whether to sit on His right or His left.  But that thought left as a I
chose my place and sat with My Lord.

Oh Lord,
How can I thank You for all the blessing you bestow on me?
I come to you broken and empty,
It is You that fills me.
It is You that heals me.
It is You that offers me a seat at Your Table.


~Cindy