Sunday, November 22, 2015
Passions. I am a person of passions. I am never half way in. It is all or nothing with me. This week has been up and down and I have struggled with my heart.
I am barely a month away from the second anniversary of Michael's death. Some have said to me that the second year must be easier. It isn't. The loss though not as fresh is just as painful. My life is still morphing into a life without his physical presence. I still look to him and for him.
I was also distressed by a couple that I know that posted on Facebook that though they were Catholic they are now Christians and have just been baptized into a non-denominational church. Are they unaware that Catholics are Christians? Are they unaware that they have been Baptized and need no other? It broke my heart.
There was the post by a family member that stated: My name is ---------- and I am openly secular. I am kind, moral, and good, not because I need the fear of divine punishment or the promise of a divine reward, but because it is the right thing to do. I am good without god! If you are not ashamed put your name in place of mine and make it your status.
What broke my heart was the sentence; " I am good without god!" I ,for my part,am NOT good without God? I do not know where I would be without Him.
Then Sunday came. Today we celebrate the Solemnity of Christ the King and accept the catechumens from the Rite of Christian Initiation. There they were with their sponsors ready to make it publicly known that they wished to join us in fellowship and become Catholics. It made my heart soar! The good God had reminded me that there are still people seeking Him. My job is to assist them in whatever way I can. My job is to be Christ-like. My obligation is to proclaim loudly that, JESUS CHRIST IS KING OF MY HEART AND OF THE UNIVERSE.
Dear King and Savior,
Look on us with Mercy.
Help me to be the person You wish me to be.
Give me strength when I am put to the test.
May my proclamation of faith be not only on my lips,
but in my actions, for they speak the loudest.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
~St. Therese of Lisieux
There has been so much suffering in the world from the beginning of the world. Recently we have the terrorists that bomb cities and shoot people and try to cripple us. Everyday there is some family who is struck by tragedy.
I have been following a country music couple that I had never heard of before. The wife was diagnosed with cancer and has enter Hospice Care. They have a 20 month old baby. Much is being written about her valiant struggle and their hope that there will be others who can learn from her suffering. As Joey moves into Hospice Care they are still hoping for a miracle.
A miracle. We all hope for a miracle. The miracle that we hope for is one based on our own wants, needs, and desires. We struggle mightily to see the wisdom of God's Will. Yet, it is how we face our suffering that makes all the difference in the world.
If we can abandon ourselves to enduring suffering with Joy then we have not suffered in vain. Just today I spoke with my Prayer Partner and she reminded me that another friend is facing the first year anniversary of her partners death. She is dreading the anniversary and doesn't know what to do.
My Prayer Partner recently lost a good friend and is struggling with the loss. It seems so unnecessary that her friend died. We wonder if things could have been done differently and then perhaps a different outcome. God has a way of doing things in His own Time and in His own Way. We struggle and He answers that He knows best and we may not be able to see the wisdom of His Way.
Jesus suffered so much in the Garden of Gethsemane that He sweated blood. He asked His Father to take the cup, but in the end He accepted His Father's Will and drank the cup to the bitter dregs.
Miracles come in God's Way, not ours.
how painful it must be to see your world in such distress.
Help us to look past our fear and respond with Joy to our suffering and loss.
Help us to not let our fear make us stumble on the path to faith and acceptance.
Help us to embrace the Year of Mercy that is approaching with an open heart and mind.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Today would be the celebration of your earthly birthday. Though we would have waited until the third for the party. So that we could celebrate our birthdays together. All the years that we were together the 3rd of November became our joint celebration. Our birthdays became so melded that at times it was difficult to remember that yours was the 2nd and mine the 4th.
Burnt Sugar Cake for you and pumpkin pie for me. No candles too dangerous in the later years. How I wish you were here to celebrate, but you are not and I am sad. Sad for me. I know that you are in such a better place and your earthly suffering is over.
I miss you calling me Cinders, asking what the plan is for the day, and just sitting next to me. I just wanted you to know that I am keeping my promise to you. Happy Birthday!
Lord, you know
the depth of my grief.
I thank you for it.
For in this valley of tears
Are the lessons of;
Trust, Abandonment, and Obedience.
Your Will, not mine.