Dreaming has always been a healing for me. I figure out answers to problems and concerns while I sleep. Since Michael's death I haven't been dreaming. Or if I am I do not remember them. Instead I feel like I am in total darkness, nothingness. I awake exhausted and long for the nights filled with dreams.
Many times in the Bible God used dreams to help people know what to do. He warned Joseph that it was okay to take Mary as his spouse. He warned Joseph to take Mary and the child into Egypt for safety. He warned the Magi not to go back and tell Herod were they had found the child.
I finally dreamed three weeks almost to the day of the anniversary of Michael's death. There he was talking to me. He had a lot to say, but I can't remember any of the words. I just know that he was there healthy and hearty talking to me. When I awoke I was comforted.
This morning I feel lost and alone. I am like a blank chalk board waiting to be written on.
a wasteland of howling desert.
He shielded them and cared for them,
guarding them as the apple of his eye.