An Anniversary and a Peach Cake

"In the evening of life, we will be judged on love alone." St. John of the Cross


Facebook reminded me that on  25 August of 2013 I had posted the picture to the left.  It is a Peach Cake that I made for our Anniversary that year.

At the time we knew that we had little time together and each day was a cause for celebration.  I made a peach cake because at that time Michael craved peaches.  I think that we bought out several grocery stores just to keep our own supply plentiful.

This year I spent what would have been our 25th Wedding Anniversary with my parents.  I made a peach cake in Michael's memory and as we ate it that evening we remembered Michael.  We celebrated his life once again.

In the evening of Michael's life he need not worry, as he showed so much love.  He is missed and remembered by many.  As for me I will miss him until we are together again.

Lord,
You give us the gift of memory,
to remember our loved ones.
To celebrate their lives.

Help me as I continue to move forward,
To carry His memory with me.
In the evening of my life, 
I pray that I have sufficient love on which 
to be judge.

~Cindy

Enough Lord...

"Our Lord does not look so much at the greatness of our actions, or even at their difficulty, as at the love with which we do them."

St. Therese of Lisieux

Elijah went a day’s journey into the desert, until he came to a boom tree and sat beneath it.  He prayed for death, saying: “This is enough, O Lord! Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 1 Kings

I have felt like Elijah and told the Lord that I had had enough.  I couldn’t go on.  Just let me die.  The Lord sent an angel to Elijah to feed him and bring him water three times.  After this Elijah was able to walk out of the desert.  It took him forty days and forty nights but he was able to go on and complete the mission that God had given him.

God provides me with food and drink and He has even sent angels though I am sure that I have not recognized all of them. The food He provides is the Body of His Son.  The drink is the Most Precious Blood of His Son.  He waits every so patiently for me to come to the table and have my fill.  For it is there that my strength truly is…As for angels He sends family and friends to help me on my journey.  They strengthen me for the challenges in my way to complete the Mission that God has given me.

This new mission is a difficult one for sure and yet at the most unexpected times God shows me quite clearly that I am on the path.  He reminds me that it is usually the small things that make the most difference.  An example was when talking to my son about the status of his life.  I asked him if he ever thought of going to church and laying it all out to God and letting God give him support and a solution.  A couple of hours later my son texted me. He asked if he could go to Mass with me.  We did go to Mass together.  After Mass he asked me if I was surprised.  My response was, “God doesn’t surprise me much these days.  I have found if I do what He wants I am so much happier.”

Lord, Cindy here;

Thank you for prodding me to extend the invitation to Mass.

Thank you for the angels that you send to me.

Thank you for the food and drink that you give me.

~Cindy

On The Road

St. Andrew's Catholic Church Murphysboro, IL

I can't believe that I have been on the road for a month and a half.  It has been interesting each Sunday to go to a different church.  Some are friendly and some not so much.  Some are big and some are small.

As I move about I have been also going to cemeteries and churches that my family has attended in the past.  Sadly if there is not a service the church has been locked in all cases.

I stayed in a campground in Wisconsin that had a small chapel.  In the morning when it was quiet and most were still abed I could go there and pray my Rosary.  I almost enjoyed that as much as praying the Rosary under the towering pines in Yellowstone National Park.

There have been times when I have felt Michael with me and missed him tremendously or was doing something that I know he would have loved and felt tears gather in my eyes.

The trip has not been without some tense moments.  I am dealing with a fuel leak and so wish Michael was here to take care of it.  But he isn't.  Though I am not afraid or upset so he must be watching and keeping me calm.

My prayer partner and I are back on schedule and that feels great.  Starting the day praying the Rosary with her and ending each day with our night prayers puts the day in brackets.  Each day is offered up to God.  Each day I ask for His watchful care.  Each day I give thanks for all He does for me.

Lord, I am so grateful.
You have given me the means to take this trip.
You have watched over me and Cynthia every step of the way.
You keep us safe.

Help us to continue under You watchful eye.

Praying in Different Places

I will lift my eyes to the mountains;

From where shall my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,

Who made heaven and earth.

Psalm 121

Since I am on the road, I have had the opportunity to go to Mass in different places. It can be disconcerting when you don't know who is the priest because the Deacons wear a Roman Collar and full vestments. The Gloria is sung differently, or they sing everything!

I must admit that my favorite prayer place was Yelłowstone. Up in the mountains surrounded by pine trees in the brisk morning air praying my Rosary while sitting at the picnic table. Occasionally a buffalo would be grazing across from me and the birds and squirrels were competing for loudest animal.

While driving through the Badlands I was reminded that the last time I was here Michael was with me.  It helps to close the circle to be back to places we enjoyed.

The next stage of this trip will be new territory. Yet the constant in all this is my prayer life. The schedule may be different, but the day starts with a Rosary and the day ends with my night prayers.

I am truly blessed to be able to enjoy this kind of freedom.

Lord, I ask that you continue to watch over me & Cynthia.

Be with us as the miles slip under our wheels.

Open our eyes to the beauty of your creation.

Help us to be kind to our fellow travelers.

~Cindy

Going the Wrong Way

Be not anxious about what you have, but about what you are.  - St. Gregory the Great

Preparing to go on my first solo journey in my RV has been frightening and exciting all at the same time.  I have plotted my course on GPS and the Atlas and written notes and have downloaded all the apps.  Yet I still am concerned about going the Wrong Way!

It is so easy in life to find yourself lost on the road of life.  Wondering what you should do and if you have made the right decision.  You struggle or at least I do with; is this my will or Your Will.  Have I been a good example to my children, neighbors, friends, and strangers on the street? Am I truly easy to recognize as a Christian, or must I proclaim it from the roof tops?

Going to Mass, Confession, being a Lector and Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist do NOT make me a good Christian. It is the way I live my life and the example that I am to others.

I have had occasion of late to wonder about my parenting.  My one son was recently in jail, lost his job, and his way.  I have a daughter that I am for all intents and purposes estranged from and one that I am pushing from the nest and the resistance is great.  She is making some decisions that I am sure are going the Wrong Way.  But I must let her make her own decisions and come to her own conclusions.  Part of being a good parent is to let your children make their own mistakes and learn from them.

My Mom told me once, "All you can do is build a good foundation and hopefully they will build their  home there."

Here I am Lord,
embarking on a new journey.
Help me to remember that I
only need trust in You,
abandon my will to Yours,
and obey You in all things.

You, Lord are the Right WAY.

~ Cindy

Come Holy Ghost!

The word Paraclete signifies comforter or advocate; now both these offices imply especially the exercise of goodness, and goodness is a peculiar attribute of God the Holy Ghost, so He is said to be our Comforter in trouble and our Advocate in blessings.
- St. Thomas Aquinas

When I was younger we used to say Holy Ghost. One day Sister told us that we were now suppose to say Holy Spirit.  I never understood why we needed to change God's name.  I think they thought the word ghost might scare us or lead us to think of Casper the friendly ghost.  I still slip up sometimes and say Holy Ghost instead of Holy Spirit.

On this feast of Pentecost we are reminded of the fear of the unknown that must have caused sleepless nights for those gathered in the room.  Were they afraid that the Jews would attempt to have them put to death?  Yet, the Paraclete came!  The Paraclete was like armor that they could put on and go out without fear and proclaim the Word of God!

I sometimes forget that the Paraclete is there right beside me ready to give me voice and courage to do what is right in the eyes of God.  Today Fr. Charlie reminded us of the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit.  I couldn't remember them.  Father must have been looking at a lot of troubled faces because he said that he couldn't remember them either and had to look them up.

They are: Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Knowledge, Fortitude, Piety and Fear of the Lord (Wonder and Awe).

I know that I not only couldn't remember them.  I don't use them often enough.  Seven wonderful gifts to help make my life easier.

 So my prayer is from an ancient hymn written by Rabanus Maurus (776-856)

Come Holy Ghost, Creator blest 
and in our hearts take up Thy rest;
come with Thy grace and heavenly aid,
To fill the hearts which Thou hast made.

O Comforter,  to Thee we cry,
Thou heavenly gift of God most high,
Thou Font of life and Fire of love,
and sweet anointing from above.

Thy light to every sense impart,
and shed Thy love in every heart;
Thine own unfailing might supply
to strengthen our infirmity.

Drive far away our ghostly foe,
and Thine abiding peace bestow;
if Thou be our preventing Guide,
no evil can our steps betide.

Praise we the Father and the Son
and the Holy Spirit with them One;
and may the Son on us bestow 
the gifts that from the Spirit flow.

~Cindy

GPS

Assumption of Mary, Immaculate Conception Basilica
Denver, CO

"I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life..."
John 14:6

I have been traveling with my parents.  During our driving adventure I have been learning my new GPS.  In Albuquerque, New Mexico I found a Costco Store that had the cheapest fuel.  So using the app on my phone I clicked on the routing function.  I wasn't happy with the route so I plugged in the location on my new GPS.  Unfortunately I forgot to turn off my phone's navigation.  So my poor Dad is holding my phone while the GPS and the phone are giving us differing voice directions!  "Just keep me on the Blue Line, Dad" and we should be fine."

It is extremely difficult to not follow voice direction.  I struggled to not listen, but was distracted and Dad aptly kept me on the blue line to our destination.  I had always wanted to see Albuquerque, but not that way.

I started to think that perhaps GPS really should stand for God Positioning System.  It seems to me that most of us have our battling directions, our God Positioning System and the WPS ( World Positioning System).  They like my two GPS' battle daily for our attention.  I like to think that the Blessed Mother is sitting next to me trying her best to keep me on the Blue Line so that I can make it to the correct destination.

We were reminded in Sunday's Gospel reading that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  He is the ultimate GPS.


Lord,
please continue to be with me
as I travel this road of life.
Help me to listen to Your Direction.
Keep me from distraction and the
World's Positioning System.

~Cindy